Psalm 62: “In you alone is my soul at rest. My help comes from You.”

A Southeast Asian friend asks the meaning of the English “to take for granted”. From Google: “To fail to properly appreciate someone or something, especially as a result of overfamiliarity.” From Bing: “To expect someone or something to be always available to serve in some way without thanks or recognition.” 

When, for example, a married couple acknowledges the other each day with a grunt, it could be a case of “overfamiliarity”. Or, in context it might not be so bad. Cultural and family differences come into play. One study reports that couples who share at least a peck on the cheek each morning have more successful marriages than those who don’t.

Isn’t it all too easy to take mother or some caretaker for granted? In some cultures, mother’s always presumed to be there to console or prepare a meal.  She seems able to do this even though tired or nursing chronic pain. In less personal matters most of my readers can take much for granted: food, potable water and possibly clean air.

But let’s stick to persons. Twenty college classmates, for example, devised a way of keeping their friendship fresh. Every summer for 30 years they’ve met for a golf outing. By doing this they affirm their friendship, recognize each such friend as a gift, not to be neglected.  The urgency of this drill was underlined in the last three years. Joe died of a heart attack, Jeff of pancreatic cancer and Chris of brain cancer. All in their fifties.

 They’ve had joyful, rollicking times together. Not taking valued friends or those we work with every day for granted follows really from awe and wonder that such relationships exist at all.  Their enrichment of life, when we reflect on it, should fill us with awe or amazement.  And that would be the opposite of ‘taking them for granted’. (See Margaret Visser’s work The Gift of Thanks.)

Psalm 27: “I believe I shall see the Lord’s goodness / in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord; be strong; / be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord!”

Reply to Fr. Don at: DTalafous@csbsju.edu

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