Psalm 62: “In you alone is my soul at rest. My help comes from you.”

The Irish writer Oscar Wilde complained to a fellow author that the latter's new book had offended him endlessly. Why? Because the author hadn't mentioned Oscar. To varying degrees we are all similarly self-absorbed. As far as we're concerned there is nothing important except what concerns me and my preoccupations. More forgivably one gets this impression from couples getting married; on that day nothing else really is happening in the universe.

But there is a kind of self-absorption that we must resist. It shows itself when we are totally unable to think of others, to be aware of their needs or preferences. Instead our own moods must be put on display for everyone to enjoy; after all, we think at such times, what else matters but that I'm in a foul mood or even a very exuberant one. Why shouldn't the rest of the world take its cue from me? It seems so obvious. Such an attitude is something we probably all go through at some time or other; it seems to be characteristic of our more unpleasant adolescent moods.

The example and the power of Christ in Scripture and Eucharist are meant to help us reduce this self-centeredness, to be able to think of others, even to place their interests and needs before mine. Obviously this is what married people must do for each other; what parents do for children. In his Rule, Saint Benedict (chapter 72) includes under “The good zeal of monks” the steep admonition: “No one is to pursue what he judges better for himself, but instead, what he judges better for someone else.”

Christ assures us that making a habit of this dying to self leads us paradoxically to a richer and deeper life. Losing, forgetting myself, is the way we find our better self.

Psalm 27: “I believe I shall see the Lord’s goodness / in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord; be strong; / be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord!”

Reply to Fr. Don at: DTalafous@csbsju.edu

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